By: Lolita (An Anonymous B-Glam Girl Contributor)

Dear Diary,

We women are masters at ruining relationships. Relationships are hard enough as it is because we tend to bring our previous baggage and hurts to the new one. We put up these opposing walls because if our previous partner did a, b and c surely this one will do the same thing and then some. But isn’t that a tragic start to a relationship? What a way to make your future equally as tragic. Surely a relationship that started out badly will end just as badly and honestly you have no one to blame but yourself.

Have you ever heard it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Well, that saying is equally as tragic. You are dooming the relationship right from the very start. Yet again a woman must have thought that up. I am a woman and I shake my head and roll my eyes constantly at the mistakes women make. Don’t worry I made them too. We are not perfect but there are certainly ways to make a relationship successful than by being negative right from the start.

Women love to read all of these self-help books from men but never from women. Let me tell you ladies we are smarter than we look and we know about relationships. We all have something magical that men don’t have. It is called intuition. We just have to master it because sometimes we misunderstand our very own intuition.

The top mistakes women make in dating and love are:

• We give ourselves away too easily. I am referring to our sexuality. We think we are in control but we are not. You gave away the prize before he even won it. Yes, your body is a gift that takes conquering mountains before he has earned it. Just like your love he must earn it. We as women associate love with sex. Men do not. They can separate the two. And for those ladies who believe one night stands and sex with many men is femininity and strength you are wrong. A strong woman holds on to her most important gifts and doesn’t give them away. Sadly, then you wonder why you can’t find a good relationship or partner. You gave it all away. You have nothing left.

• We bring our baggage into the new relationship. We compare everything he is doing to our previous relationship. You are not giving him, you or each other a fair chance. So let the past be the past.

• We want to control everything. Women are naturally needy creatures. We love affection, attention and we want it our way or no way. It makes us confident and independent women. But the reality is that it doesn’t. How would you like a man to control how you are supposed to feel and how you are supposed to react to him? It’s strange and not normal. So let things flow naturally.

• We analyze every little thing. He said he cares about you. BUT, you are wondering why is he saying that. Why hasn’t he said he loves me yet? Why didn’t he say I care about you very much? Does he only care a little? What if he is seeings someone else? What if he is saying that to her too? He said he cares about me but he always calls me when he gets out from work at 6:00 p.m. It is now 6:30 p.m. and I haven’t heard from him. Does that mean he stopped caring? and the list goes on! Again that’s strange. A man will never say something he doesn’t mean and if you are doubting it watch his actions. If he says I care about you and he makes time for you, listens to you, responds to you, cares about your day, and your life then he cares. If he says he cares but only calls you late at night to come over and have sex…well do I really need to tell you what he cares about?

• We move way too fast. Love is a beautiful thing and it takes time. How the hell are you supposed to love someone after a day. Take your time. It is like a blooming flower. You have to nurture it. I believe that you can fall in love and it can happen immediately but for it to last you have to take your time.  Enjoy getting there it will make it that much sweeter.

• We are way too needy. Your partner is not your daddy no matter how many times you call him that. He is there to be your equal. The Ying to your Yang. Not your everything and he has a life too. If you are spending your days and nights making it all about him then that is not healthy. That is obsession and infatuation. It is natural to miss him, want to hear about him, think about him but if you can’t function girl you do not have a case of love you have a case of the psychotics! No, really…love is not obsessive or possessive.

• We forget that we need a best friend. Why would you want to be with a man that isn’t your best friend. He wants a friend too. If your man wants to sit with you and watch the game. You have won the prize! You may not like the game but he considers you to be more than a girlfriend you are his friend. If he does the same for you. He sits there and watches “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” then darling you have found a priceless man.

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